I am a branch, a beautiful, powerful life bearing branch. I am chosen. I have been grafted in for a purpose. I carry His beauty and through me His life is propagated. I am entwined with others.

I said goodbye to my mum this week. After a month of feeling the sadness of her death, I was faced with seeing a polished wooden coffin covered in flowers and a lovely photo. Was that mum? Was she really in that coffin? How could that be?

My mum died 2 weeks ago. She is not here anymore. She has gone. Writing those words feels very strange. I can hardly believe I will never see her again, never give her a hug, make her a sandwich, help her get going in the mornings, text her to check she is ok…

I was chatting with a man the other day who said that throughout his childhood his dad would say that he wasn’t his father and wanted nothing to do with him. It was all a lie but a very cruel lie as it left him with deep-rooted shame and the belief that he had defrauded his way into life and wasn’t meant to be.

Now we’ve stepped into the New Year it seems good to look back and take stock. Twelve months ago I had just completed and submitted the manuscript that would become my new book. At that time, it had no title and no cover design and still needed a great deal of editing to reach the point of being publishable.

Today with just a couple of weeks to go before Christmas and knowing this is the season of peace and joy, I am battling with feeling bad about myself and hating the fact that I never seem to change despite my best intentions.

It’s funny how shame messages sneak in so subtly. I can be going about my day quite happily but out of the blue a thought comes in that propels me back onto that pathway of pain and shame.

I’m very excited to be starting this Unashamed blog and will be posting regularly, exploring what it means to live unashamed.